I’ve had a rocky relationship with the BBC’s detective drama “Sherlock.” There are things I like about it–the chemistry between Cumberbatch and Freeman is really good and they made a believable crime solving duo, and I really like Lestrade–and then there are the things I don’t–I find Sherlock himself a bit annoying and the show tends to be a bit weird when it comes to characters that aren’t English men. My issues with it, however, have not been enough to dissuade me from watching the new episode. And since I’m doing that on a Thursday and I’ve been feeling guilty for not making any posts all winter break, I have decided to share my reactions with you, the internet. Enjoy them.
This may be obvious, but spoilers galore lie ahead.
1. Wow, this is taking a long time to load. Is this really that popular? Even my shady links seem to have overloaded servers.
2. What? Sherlock was able to fake his suicide because of camera angles and Watson being knocked down? Did no one else see him bungying from that building? Did no one go, “hey, I know you’re upset, but I saw a guy that looked just like this guy jump, get pulled up, and then throw down this body”? Also, how’d they dress up Moriarty that quickly. Skeptical…
3. Wait, he kissed Molly. Probably a fake. This show hates her too much for that to happen. (I love Molly so much, guys. I want to give her a hug and a cup of hot chocolate and a nicer guy to be into).
4. The amount of commentary will probably be inversely proportional to how quickly this video loads. You can do it, internet!
5. Looks like they just placed the body… Wait, everyone there is an actor? What… Oh, haha, that’s just a made up story. Well done. Also, it’s Lestrade!
6. So many spinny grass effects.
7. There no way anyone could deduce (or, I suppose, induce–detective work makes use of inductive reasoning most of the time, not deductive) that someone’s wife was at this moment sleeping with a coffin maker. I’d like to think we’re supposed to know he’s just making this up, but the bit about the navy love-affair appears to be true and this isn’t the first time Sherlock’s been magic. But I’m amused that, even when being beaten, he’s obnoxious. More obnoxious than my little inductive/deductive reasoning rant just now.
8. Cumberbatch should have long hair more often.
9. Is Watson still depressed after all this time? I thought this was supposed to be two years later. He does a lot of staring blankly for it being two years later. Losing a friend is traumatic, but it just seems a bit extreme.
10. I was about to say that I loved Mycroft because of his prissiness, but then he learned a language in a couple hours. That’s not a real thing.
11. Aww…now we’re making fun of Watson’s mustache. That’s adorable.
12. Ooh, artistic dust shot.
13. WATSON’S GETTING MARRIED NOW HE CAN HAVE HIS CANONICAL WIFE THAT GETS PUSHED TO THE BACKGROUND EVERY TIME IT’S TIME FOR MEN TO TO MAN THINGS LIKE ANYTHING NOT IN THE HOUSE BECAUSE VICTORIAN ERA…who says “I’m moving on” when talking about accepting a platonic friend’s death and also coincidentally getting married? This is why everyone thinks you were a thing, John.
(…but even if they were a thing he could’ve been bi– why does no one seem to consider this possibility? Bi people exist, Mrs. Hudson.)
14. I know Sherlock’s line “What life? I’ve been away” is supposed to be indicative of his arrogance, but I also kinda think the narrative in all the other episodes did tend towards the “how could Watson possibly think about things that aren’t Sherlock?”
15. “Madam, can I suggest you look at this menu, it’s completely identical.” That was pretty great.
16. Aww…he’s trying so hard to make a cheesy surprise for Watson. Kinda weird, but kinda cute.
17. BUT IS IT MRS. WATSON TIME? THE MUSIC IS SWELLING. I don’t know why I’m so excited about this. I keep hoping that this will be the one female character that they do well. I’ve had very mixed feelings about their treatment of the others.
18. Oh, Sherlock. Ruining an adorable proposal. And becoming a rival for almost-fiance. I do like that everyone’s properly upset about the two years of lying.
19.WHY, JOHN, WHY? I WANT TO KNOW HOW HE DID IT.
20. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but I’m liking the way the Sherlock/John/Mary dynamic is working. Please don’t take it from me, Moffat.
21. The Sherlock/Moriarty theory is clearly the best. Fanservice ftw.
22. Oh, the “we’re so smart” Holmes Brothers wanking. Really, this is probably largely a part of the Victorian-ness of the franchise. The great man view of the world was big back then, I’m given to understand.
23. I like how Sherlock makes a couple of friends and then lectures his brother about the importance of socialization.
24. MOLLY AND SHERLOCK ARE SOLVING CRIMES, EVERYTHING IS AWESOME. MOLLY FOR MAIN CHARACTER!
25. Molly’s doing things. Could this be the start of something interesting. Next they’ll be fleshing out her character and whatnot.
26. “Excuse you”? What kind of thing is that to say to someone on the street? The manners of these Brits. Here in the upper Midwest, we apologize to others when they bump into us. And then silently rant about them in our heads, like civilized people.
27. Aww…Molly’s engaged. And still kind of in love of Sherlock. I’m less excited about this than I want to be. Do I…do I ship Sherlock/Molly. I…I might. Oh, this is an awkward discovery.
28.Why are they lighting a stuffed person on fire outside a church? Is this a thing? How is Guy Fawkes involved? Do people in England symbolically burn Guy Fawkes to death in celebration?
28B. IT’S A THING. Thanks, Wikipedia and my video still not streaming well.
29. BUT WE GET TO MEET SHERLOCK’S PARENTS. They seem to be very pleasant people. Who would’ve guessed?
30. Never call the police. Just like how you never call a grown-up in YA fiction. Being logical makes things less cool.
31. Use your mind-palace, Sherlock, use your mind-palace!
32. Did…did Sherlock actually apologize for his selfishness?
33. Ah, now we see the actual plan. And I’m glad it involves part of a bouncy castle.
34. But how did you know that he would go that way around the ambulance station?
35. Who’s this Philip guy? Should I know who he is? I don’t remember him.
36.What happened to the bomb plot?
37. THEN HOW DID SHERLOCK SURVIVE???
38. NOW WE’RE BACK TO THE SUBWAY???
39. Sherlock, you little f***. I don’t know why I feel wrong swearing on this blog. It’s weird.
40. I bet Tom becomes a murderer. Also, Molly has a very specific type.
Huh. I quite liked that episode. More than all the other ones. I’m not 100% sure if it’s because it’s honestly better than the others, or because of grown accustomed to certain things. But I actually liked the character Sherlock in that. Things might be looking up for me and “Sherlock.”